It can be very frustrating for us as we run into construction zones while we are trying to navigate from point A to point B. It seems like every year our normal routes are interrupted by a roadway being blacktopped, a bridge or culvert being replaced, trees being trimmed, or an intersection that is being restructured. Even though it can be frustrating during the time of construction it sure is nice when it’s completed. The roadway is smoother and easier to travel on.
Currently I am under construction.
On December 24th, 2017 I saw an Instagram post where a friend of mine posted a photo of her young daughter’s notes reminding them to do their daily Bible devotions. Seeing the importance and how it was a priority for her daughter to do her devotions really convicted me that I need to become more consistent in reading my Bible, praying and living more like God expects me to live. I had gotten pretty lax in recently in my Christian walk.
Yes, I am a Christian but I know I’m far from perfect, never will be perfect and don’t pretend to be perfect. As a matter of fact there are many times I just plain stink.
I can and will say from the experience of being a Christian for 20 years I have found that the closer I am in my relationship with God, the better I feel, I tend to make better choices overall and tend to screw up a lot less. So that’s a good thing, right? Of course.
Also, I have began going to a counselor to help deal with the time period in my life of my brothers illness and death and the depression and anxiety it has caused by trying to avoid it.
I’ve only been to three sessions so far but it has been very helpful. My counselor, Kristen, is very good about listening and letting me talk A LOT which I’m very comfortable doing. Anyone who knows me knows talking excessively is not an issue for me.
Kristen explained to me after the first session it was like I was giving her a big ball of tangled yarn and that she and I are going to untangle it. Sounded good to me.
The next two sessions I have found I need to work on forgiving myself for things I have had no control over and that I need to re-evaluate my expectations of people. I’ve also learned a lot about depression itself and especially seasonal depression on my most previous visit.
I realize my time on this earth is short and I want to live it as best as I can because I understand that I do have influence, as we all do, on the people I come in contact with. I want to have a positive impact or influence on my family, friends, neighbors and community but I can only do that if I take the steps to take care of myself.
So, while I’m under personal construction right now and having to face my faults and issues that I have kept comfortably suppressed for eight years it’s going to be bumpy, challenging and sometimes uncomfortable. The goal for me is to gain the tools I need to help me change, grow and become a better person. Just like when a road construction project is complete and the road is nice and smooth and better for travel, hopefully, my life’s road will be smoother and easier to travel on than before.